Let me show you the difference between Islam way of life when talking about getting marriage with other religions way. I’m not harassing any body or any religion. This is only to let you think about it, and give your own opinion. Which do think is more reliable healthy when talking about seeking our life partner.
By Lisa Daily
I know a lot of single women (and a few single men) who are just itching to get married.
They dream of matching towels, freshly scrubbed children and sharing the Sunday crossword puzzle in bed. They dream of a life of shared jokes from a You-and-Me-Against-the-World bubble.
The towels usually come with the rest of the bridal gifts. The kids, if you have them, don’t stay fresh-scrubbed for more than five or six minutes. And in fact, if you have two or more, one of them will have gotten into something disgusting and staining by the time you manage to get the other one dressed.
Marriage, along with its own particular brand of bliss, generally drags a few other things along with it:
– If you’re married and your spouse is making you crazy, you have no place to go but the grocery store. And then you have to come back.
– Dating means the tingle of first kisses and carefully thought-out gestures meant to win your affection.
– Marriage means a standing birthday order at the local flower shop and mystery toenail clippings left under the couch. It also means never feeling that first-kiss tingle again.
– Dating usually means best behavior, sexual and otherwise. Marriage means your spouse laughs when he farts in bed, he leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom counter (why?) and already knows whether or not “it was good for you.”
– Dating means wild, passionate, elevator/cliff/hot tub sex. Marriage means every Saturday and alternating Tuesdays.
Lisa Earle McLeod (http://www.lisaearlemcleod.com/), a 20-plus-year marriage veteran who writes about everything from marital disillusionment and flat-line libidos to drive-through spirituality in her hilarious book, Finding Grace When You Can’t Even Find Clean Underwear says, “The reality of marriage is once the hormone-induced endorphin buzz wears off, you’re left with your same old boring life. Only now, there’s another person who wants space on the couch.”
McLeod adds, “Better barware and matching towels cannot help you sustain happiness for more than a day.”
There’s a reason that chick flicks and romance novels always end at the beginning of the relationship. And while there’s a certain appeal to having someone know you so well they’ve seen all your disgusting habits, from waxing your upper lip, to throwing up around the clock with a nasty bout of the stomach flu, the downside is you have to witness all of their disgusting habits as well… often on a daily basis.
“Dating is about possibilities of who you could be. Marriage forces you to face the reality of who you really are.”
McLeod adds, “Whenever I talk about the truths of marriage, the married women in the audience all nod their heads and smile but the singles tend to think I’m some jaded middle-aged woman who didn’t do it right. There’s a little secret part of me wishes I could track them down in 10 years to ask them how their storybook is going.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love being married,” McLeod says, “Well, most of time. But it’s just like a career or parenting: Parts of it are not so pretty and a lot of hard work. In hindsight, I wish I’d cultivated a bigger girlfriend network before I got married and during the early years of my marriage before I had children.”
So why are so many of us so anxious to toss away sole control of the remote and sleeping in the middle of the bed? Is it loneliness, the desire to belong somewhere, a yearning for formal flatware?
“Dating is more fun than marriage because dating is about going out places together — the act of going on a date. Marriage is the act of legally binding up your assets and your lives. Even the word dating is more fun.”
Traci, a dater who is single again after her marriage went south, said the best thing about dating again is that “Dating is like a buffet. And after years and years of the same old Egg-beaters and Metamucil for breakfast, I was suddenly offered stacks of pancakes, Eggs Benedict and bacon. Lots of bacon.”
The downside, Traci says, is that “With dating, you always wonder what the other person is thinking.”
McLeod adds, “With marriage, you already know exactly what they’re thinking. It’s both a blessing and a curse.”
In Islam Dating is Prohibited
“Dating” as it is currently practiced in much of the world shall not exist
among Muslims — where a man and a woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one
intimate relationship, spending time together alone, getting to know each
other in a very deep way.
“(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste
women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before
your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the
husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking
them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking
them as girlfriends. … – Al-Ma’idah 5:5.
If a Muslim man has the desire and willingness to assume marital
responsibilities, and he doesn?t have anyone in mind, he might ask his
friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that might be suitable for
him among their acquaintances and relatives, and then the couple can meet
with their family members.
As a result, many marriages in the Muslim world were traditionally arranged
marriages, though this is not a religious requirement. However, both couples
can not be forced to accept an arranged marriage and if a man likes someone
(with the intention of marriage) that he knows from work, neighborhood or
acquaintances, etc? he shall propose to her.
Islam also encourages Muslims to marry persons for whom they have special
feelings and are comfortable with. Thus, Islam recommends that potential
marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the
reason for such a recommendation, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur’an “Tell the
believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and
protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer
for them. “
Consequently, to preserve this marital relationship, it forbids all forms of
temporary relationships between a man and a woman. Pre-marital relationships
in Islam are not considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman,
nor is it constructive for the concept or the building the family or the
- 7 Things I’ve Learned in 7 Years of Marriage (psychcentral.com)
- Marital Rape (volokh.com)
- -Muslim Couple are ‘Officially’ Divorced by Skype (answersforthefaith.com)
- “President of Islamic Sharia Council claims there â€˜cannotâ€™ be rape in marriage” and related posts (pickledpolitics.com)
- U.K. cleric: Rape is impossible within marriage (msnbc.msn.com)
- Nigeria ‘forced marriage’ upheld (bbc.co.uk)
- Rape ‘impossible’ in marriage, says Muslim cleric (independent.co.uk)
- Islamic Law in U.S. Courts (volokh.com)
- Muslim man told Skype divorce joke stands (telegraph.co.uk)
- You can’t commit rape within marriage, says head of UK Islamic Sharia Council (newhumanist.org.uk)